Whom are we competing with?

Recession, global warming, terrorism, GDP.....so many things to talk about. Everything around us is moving too fast. Explosive growth, never seen before. Accelerated human evolution.

Is anyone really concerned about what impact all this is having on humanity? World leaders? Why is it that they don't discuss this issue? How are we as human beings coping with it all? How is this fast pace changing our mind and our body? Who is measuring this aspect of growth and development and its impact on society and mankind? What are the metrics or yard stick to measure how much have we grown as human beings? Or de-grown as compared to our ancestors who lived in lesser developed environment.

Whom are we competing with? God? Nature? Aliens? Time? Past civilizations? ..May be all..may be none....we could just competing with ourselves.

What is this hurry and why is this hurry? Cant we slow down? Why does GDP have to grow at 8% and why not 4 or 14 or 25 or 2....? Fixation with numbers! Not quality. These numbers are driving humanity crazy...

Yes there is an urgency...but the urgency is to slow down this crazy pace of life....quieten the minds! Shut out the noise and the clutter! Find the silence within.

This equation has gone wrong....shoudn't it be corrected?

The only thing I find more complex than my own thoughts, is relationships. Closer the relation, more important it is. More important it is, more complex it is. And greater power it has to make us happy or unhappy. 

In order of importance, off course parents come first. My relationship with them is the oldest, closest and most powerful. It is an inherited, invisible bond....their smallest pain or unhappiness can break me into pieces. 

I am blessed to be born as a daughter to my parents. As equal opportunity parents; both me and my brother shared similar upbringing. There wasn't any preference. For my parents' there still isn't any preference. As a daughter, I can only reflect upon this from my own perspective. There comes a time in one's life (as a daughter) when we have to leave our parents and move into a new home. It is almost a universal phenomenon. Many things change after that. Much though we wish, it is not always possible to join our parents and share with them their happiness or even unhappiness.  Many a times, we become (not by choice) silent spectators to our parents quality of life!

So much is changing in the social set-up. More working couples. Greater focus on modern (as against traditional) upbringing of children. Hence....grand-parents are more dispensable....younger generation has lesser time and patience with older parents!!! 

There are many examples all around us. I have a very dear friend (she is a practicing Doctor). Off late my friend is feeling quite low and not her usual self. Reason; her old, ailing mother is being mistreated by her brother and sister-in-law. The poor old lady has no other place to live, except with her only son and daughter-in-law. My friend is doing her best to make things comfortable for her mother. But sadly she is facing many challenges from her own husband. He is not too keen on his wife he;ling her old mother. As a daughter, I can completely understand her situation and empathize with her. 

Many son's don't look after their old parents. Mainly because they are conditioned to think and act other-wise by their own spouses.  Similarly many daughter's do not look after their parent-in-laws, while they want to take good care of their own parents. There is a role reversal between son's and daughter's. Daughter's are becoming more like son's.....and son's want to remain only husbands'........dint I say it was all too complex!!!!

Son's must respect and take very good care of their parents. Daughter-in-laws must respect and take very good care of their parent-in-laws. This way daughter's needn't worry about their own parents and leave it to their own brother/sister-in-law. Daughter's must replicate the same and love care for their own parent- in-laws.

This equation has gone wrong. It has to be sight right, firstly in our own mind. As a son or as a daughter. Not difficult at all......all it needs is a shift in the way we approach relationships.

Lighter side of life :)

Yes, that's what I am focusing on these days. Taking life easy, treating it lightly and most of all taking myself easy and not too seriously.

Most of us take life too serious. Most of us take ourselves too serious. Most of us take our offices and jobs too seriously. All of us take our bosses very seriously! Not to forget...most of us take our spouses toooo seriously. Look at the poor fellow Bakhtiyar Irani in the "Bigg Boss" show....he cries and cries and cries...

Things which we ought to take seriously, we ignore. Such as our peace of mind, our happiness, our health and most important our relationships. 

Sometimes when I am in a lighter mood (as I am sure most of you are too), life sounds and feels so funny.....there are so many things to smile about and laugh about. 

Like the other day my husband was as usual sitting in front of his Laptop for hours and I got upset. He calmly and easily tells me..listen I do a lot of house work in the morning before you get up! Now it was my turn to laugh and ask him this questions, "Such as?"....well till the end of the day I did not get an answer from him....honestly I dint even expect one, because both of us know the reality. There is hardly any work that he does/can do/will do; early in the morning. I am sure all my female friends/and the male one's too will have similar experiences to narrate.

Maid.....mine is not to be seen for the past one week....some excuse that her mother has run away....so I am battling with a lot of house-hold work on my own. But like I said, I am trying to see the funny side of life here too. Maid -for-each-other...that's me and her! She comes and goes when she likes....it is her house after all! Takes leave when she likes! It is her house after all! Asks for extra money and hikes when she likes! It is her house after all! And most of us (women) dread the thought of being maid-less......so we succumb....and so we have gradually become maid of honor...no.. no...honor the maid types!

Bosses....thank god there isn't one in my life right now...the last experince was too hilarious/traumatic for me to take any more. I almost had a nervous break down in the last job held. Would rather watch the 10th repeat telecast of a stand up comedy show on TV, than spend time reminiscing about my past bosses (some of them were good too):)God too must be wondering about this creation....what sort of a being have I created? I am sure he find's no answer.

Now that I am at home these days, Television keeps me one sided company. What else is there to see but the sensational, 24X7 news channels...they are more like a reality shows, but lesser authentic. Our politicians are an eternal source of entertainment and humor. There is a Singh who is most unlike a king, and there is a King-maker who can't make anything...Manu Sharma's Parole and his parties, Koda's crores and convenient hospitalization,  Chappals and slaps....wow.....kya baat hai...

From the infinte pot-holes on roads, to the big hole in my pocket (caused by inflation).....irritating neighbors, shortage of water-supply....its all a lot of fun! See...the lighter side of life and keep medical bills under control.  


I know its difficult....but chill...take it easy.....smile....and remember....Jane bhi do yaaron....

Realising the merit of what my grandparents said.....

As young children, my brother and myself grew up in a joint family. The house was always filled with people. Cousins of same age group to play with, uncles and aunts and our dear grand-parents. My grand-parents are no more there with us. They have long departed from this world. But their blessings are with us. And the love, care and most important their values and the simple wisdom which they have shared with us children. 

As adults we live in a nuclear family. Just me and my husband. And occasional visitors. 

With passing time, comes the realization. There was and is a lot of merit in the old family system. Joint families gave us so much comfort. Children like us grew up under the strong and steady influence of elders. Moms, aunts and elder sisters stayed home to cater to the family needs. Healthy food, clean environment, love, care and strong values. We were taught to share everything with others. 

There are many families today where both the parents step out to work. Nuclear families make it difficult for elderly parents to stay with their children. Many cases aged parents too want their freedom, hence they too prefer staying alone. Children are raised by semi-literate maid servants. Parents earn salaries in lakhs, yet the children are brought up by maids who are paid few thousands. Maids come from poor back-grounds, speak crude language and many of them have poor morals. 

One step further, there are couples where the women step out to work which requires a lot of travel. They are away from their homes for months, may be years too. So the husband and children are left to cater for themselves. Once again comes handy the maid. She cooks and keeps the house clean. At times may be mothers the children too. 

Men are getting married late, women are getting married later. Past 30' is fashionable and feasible. Result. More conflicts. Lesser sharing and poorer adjustments. More break-ups. 

Children too have too much of everything except parental care and attention. More toys, more clothes, more books....result: Unruly, adamant and demanding children. More pressure on parents. 

And many many more complications. 

The point I was trying to drive home is - having taken a break from my very busy and demanding career, I have more time to introspect. And thus came this realization. There was and is a lot of merit in what my Grand-parents said....about life and living. As a child I dint understand it. And may be dint appreciate it. But now, I am far more appreciative of the older, conservative approach to life. The time tested Indian way of living.

Living in light

Just as light kills darkness, faith kills fear. Faith is like light, and fear darkness. Religion teaches faith in God. Where there is faith, there is no fear. Just as where there is light, there is no darkness.Faith and fear are mutually exclusive. They can not co-exist. Just as light and darkness. Go with a faith that takes you away from fear, and not one that instills fear. Faith is God. God is light. Where there is light, there is no darkness.

What have I learnt?

People often say, "Life has taught me so much" or "I have learned so much from life"......is it true? Do we actually learn anything from life?

Learning is a realization.....not many reach that stage or level. Most of us simply experience life. We move from one experience to another.

Thoughts flow from teachings. Thoughts become teachings.

Feelings flow from experiences.

I would rather say, "I have experienced this or that about life". Most of us are comfortable sharing thoughts. Not many talk about experiences.

Check out Is Mumbai no longer cosmopolitan?

Hi,

I want you to take a look at : Is Mumbai no longer cosmopolitan?

Mumbai.... (ke liye kuch)..... kar

One more debate...one more talk show....Congress vs. Shiv Sena vs. MNS! And as usual political bickering hijacked the true objective of the show....and sadly but once again, Mumbai was forgotten..

Recently I had an opportunity to attend a discussion forum staged by NDTV, "We the people". The compere of the show was celebrity anchor Barkha Dutt...Panel comprised of Milind Deora (Congress), Shweta Parulekar (Shiv sena), Akhilesh Choubey (MNS), Ketan Mehta (Film maker) and some other senior journo's.....the setting was Mukesh Mills in Mumbai.

Topic for discussion was "Is Mumbai loosing its Cosmopolitanism?" Very interesting topic. I participated hoping that something constructive will come out of the show. Something that will benefit my city and make it a better place...But alas...I was so disappointed.

Barkha Dutt is a far bigger celebrity than all those on the panel...well at least that was the impression I had sitting in the audience...she is sort of curt and not a good listener. She too has her fair share of obsession with Raj Thakeray. The flow of the discussion was scattered. Strategically from a TRP point of view the Shiv Sena and MNS representative were made to sit next to one another. And so the sparks flew all the time. ....the only sensible speaker in the panel was Milind Deora, who is a good orator. Milind is suave and diplomatic.....politically correct is a better word. He was the only one on the panel who spoke about the development of Mumbai. And rightfully so...they are the once sitting on a pile of funds granted by center for the development of Mumbai.

Frankly speaking the discussion lacked any central or ore theme. It left a feeling of being very superficial...TRP- TRP types.....in between Barkha also touched upon Karan Johar and the fact that he choose to apologise to MNS chief, inside vs. outsider....migration problem in Mumbai ...blah blah blah ....random questions picked up from the audience, many of which din't make sense.....it all felt scattered and non-conclusive. Did not give a feeling of seriousness.

Made me realize....what was the motive of this show? Was it true interest of Mumbai or just timely TRP grabbing now that Maharashtra elections are round the corner? Who is actually concerned about Mumbai? Sadly no one! Not the politicians, not the media or journalists....

Milind Deora, who gets elected from South Mumbai.....why should he worry about the migration problem in Mumbai.....there are no slums or shanties in south Mumbai....the roads are world class...all the historical structures are well lite and well preserved...all the money that comes to Mumbai goes towards the beautification of these heritage structures....Milind Deora living in Peddar Road is least effected by the Migration problem in Mumbai.....Which made me think....why aren't there any slums or shanties in South Mumbai? Why are the roads broad and well lite? Why is there no traffic jam in South Mumbai.....well the answer was clear....because there is a political will power to keep it that way.

The Shiv Sena and MNS shout "Marathi Manus" just we near elections and then the matter is buried till next elections....are they really concerned about Mumbai and the plight of Mumbaikars? If they are, then at least their actions don't prove it.

Journalists? May be to some extent. At least they choose to express their views! The show was just in time, one day before Maharashtra goes for elections....well timed and a good topic to get TRP's.

As a Mumbaikar (yes irrespective of what the Government policy says, or what the Shiva Sena or MNS have to say, I AM A MUMBAIKAR BECAUSE I THINK SO, THOUGH I AM NOT A MARATHI)....made me think...

The issue is not Marathi vs. Non Marathi....THE ISSUE IS DEVELOPMENT AND QUALITY OF LIFE OF MUMBAIKAR'S...which sadly was not at all discussed in the forum....the forum was once again hijacked by the constant discussions about Raj Thackeray and Shiv Sena....

The issue is not migration...whether it showed be allowed or not allowed...the issue is are we regulating or monitoring or filtering this migration. What is the government doing to make life better for the common Mumbaikar's and also for the poor migrants who come here seeking livelihood.

Within Mumbai, there are 3 mini- Mumbai's.....one is from Colaba to Bandra...clean, spick and span, posh and snob.....this is the Mumbai we want to call a world class city....this is where all the foreigners want to live....and yes, here there is no infection of migrants. Yah!

Then there is a Mumbai from Bandra to Borivili....congested Middle class, sharing high rise buildings with slums.....crowed roads and traffic jams, water and light problem....encroachment on roads, this is the struggling Mumbai....which lives in hope that some day Mumbai will become Shanghai... but yes, there is some hope atleast...thanks to the redevelopment projects! Land grabbing .....

And then there is a 3rd Mumbai....from Dahisar to Virar....life here is a struggle...people live in old building , chawls.......all the vegetable and Milk in Mumbai comes from here...life is a journey....truly yah....life revolves around the Virar- Churchgate fast train....here there is no hope...they don't know what world class means... they haven't heard of Shanghai.......

Which is the true Mumbai? Who is the Mumbaikar we are talking about? The rich South Mumbaikar, the middle class north Mumbaikar or the lower middle to poor suburban Mumbaikar? Is there truly any hope for Mumbai to become a World class city or is this dream of turning it into Shanghai just a political game?

While all political parties are shouting and fighting in the name of Mumbaikar............Me Mumbaikar is pleading to all............."Please koi to Mumbai (ke liye kuch) Kar......"

Someone please do something for Mumbai....

Obama Wins Nobel Peace Prize

Not sure if he is deserving. Too early and too obvious! Obama has failed to charm Americans and the world, post his oath taking speech.

Random thoughts

We all live with our inadequacies. Incompleteness. Some we get, some we don't. Some we get and then loose.

Life is about putting an effort. Moving your body towards a goal. Short term or long term. Physical action is what I mean by moving your body. Drinking a glass of water is a short term goal. I have to move my body to reach out to the water and the glass. How much ever I may think in my mind, neither the water nor the glass will move. The human being has to make an effort towards the object of his goal.

I know many intelligent people (who are luckily gifted with brilliant, creative brains) but are lazy to the highest order. They think and think and think and think.....there is no physical effort in achieving a goal.....Laziness is man's biggest enemy...procrastination....

I want a house of my own. Long term goal. I have to move myself physically by various means to meet this goal. Work in an office, go to the bank to deposit money, go and search out for various houses....blah blah blah...blah. The point I am trying to make here is that anything and everything that we want to achieve in life, requires an effort of the body. Physical effort.

So set a goal and go for it. Ask your self this question.....how much have I physically moved closer to my goal...how much distance have I traveled today to be nearer to my goal......how much effort can I put more, inorder to be closer to my goal....hard work.....work hard.....put an effort......physical effort....

It is so easy to be original

When I first started blogging, honestly I was not very sure how I will manage to fill page after page with content. It is indeed difficult to keep up with blogging.

Thoughts don't just keep coming to your mind in a sequence nor do good thoughts (which are worth capturing on the blog) happen when I am around a computer!!!

And so I started blogging slowly and a bit nervously. My own estimate was that may be within a couple of months I will run out of content and my blog will fade away...................like we all love starting so many new initiatives and activities but hardly carry them through till the end.

However I was determined. For a long time I had cherished this dream of writing a book. Would keep telling my husband that one that I will publish my own book! So when he introduced me to blogging it felt like a first step towards my dream of writing a book.

My initial posts are quite amateurish! But natural. No one is a born writer. For that matter no on is born anything. We all dream, aspire, learn and succeed at various things.....

The initial response was sort of okkk....nothing earth shattering. but it gave me immense satisfaction. A feeling of having created something....even if what I did was far from perfect or world class.....there was one sense of deep happiness.....I was original.....what I was writing was my own................my blog, its layout and its content everything was original.....

Gradually as comments started flowing in, I was more and more determined to keep writing. My blog which has started as a hobby is now a passion. The content flows out naturally....

And so came in this realization.....it is very easy to be original! All it requires is honesty, determination and passion. All great musicians were original. Beethoven, Mozart, our own Indian music maestro late Naushad. All great painters were original......be it Picasso, Van Gogh or our own M.F. Hussain. All great film maters were/are original....our own example is Shri Satyajit Ray.

It is so easy to be original....it is also effortless to be original.

Why are we so unhappy?

Like me, we all wonder. What has happened to man-kind to be so unhappy? Why is there so much unhappiness all around us? How come our ancestors were a happier lot? They had lesser of everything and yet far more of peace of mind and happiness.

There could be many many reasons for our unhappiness. But one which strikes me the most is lack of self control.

Every religion has prescribed a "way of life" which when practiced helps control our mind, i.e. thoughts and actions.

Prayer, meditation, charity, social service, healthy living by way of yoga, and so much more.....over thousands of years man-kind had devised and evolved tools and techniques which when practiced help live a fulfilling, complete and satisfied existence.

Practicing all this requires discipline. And discipline is what our fore-fathers and ancestors followed. Getting up early at the break of dawn requires sleeping early. which means having an early dinner which means cooking the evening meals early!

Well how's that possible in today's life?

Most people work/commute till late. So they reach home late. When we reach home late, we have a late dinner. When we have a late dinner, it means sleeping late. And when we sleep late, it is but obvious we wake up late........

And this is just one tiny example of how undisciplined lives we are living today.

From morning to night, we are reacting to life. Going with the flow of events. Like a tiny little straw floating in the river. Completely directionless, out of control.

Keep your thoughts disciplined, eat healthy food and maintain a balance in life. Be it in terms of our actions or our desires.

Please think how you can bring about some discipline back into your life.

Man invented the Clock and became a slave to Time!!!!

Time......I have this big grudge against Man made 'Time' or lets say 'Clock' or 'Watch'. It reduces the vast expanse of Universe (which is time less and end less....Anant or eternal as refereed to in Hindu Mythology) into mere Seconds.

God too is Timeless and endless....

Early 19th Century or lets say prior to Industrialization life was so different. People did not have to rush to factories and offices to work. There was leisure...

Past couple of decades there is no escaping. And today we live from Minute to Minute and in some cases even the precision of seconds!

Time has become a knot that gets tighter around us.......strangling us ........We are slaves to Time...

Too much to do and to little Time....so make the most of every second....be as productive as you can.......is the pressure that is building on all of us.......

The more we run our life as per the 'Watch'/'Clock', further we are moving from nature. Sunrise....Sunset....Seasons....everything is a blur......it all passes too quickly. Farmers are the only once who might still be tuned into nature. More so since their life revolves around nature. Sowing, Watering and harvesting, everything is in sync with nature.

In Meditation too I loose my sense of Time......it frees me from the 'Clock'...

Slow down.......give more and more free time to Children.....create some free time for self....Sunrise.....Sunshine.....Seasons.....Lets all get closer to nature. Synchronize ourselves with nature and not with the Man-made 'Clock'....Stop looking at the 'Clock'.....stop penalizing those who don't want to live as per the 'Clock'....

I am practicing freedom from 'Time'/Clock.....

Krishna....my awakening.

He is known by many names. Krishna, Shyam, Madhav, Kaliyamardan, Radheraman, Govind, Gopal, Keshav.....each more beautiful than the other.

Avtar of lord Vishnu, his image is beautiful. Graced with a Peacock feather in his crown and the sweet Murali on his lips. His colour is unique. Shyam varna (Blue). He is the king of kings, Guru of all the guru's. Born to Devaki and Vasudev, raised by Yashodha and Nand. His words are Bhagvad Gita. Love takes on a new meaning with Radha, the Gopika's and Meera bai as his devotees. He is divinity personified in human form.

Krishna is an experience. Not of the body, but of the soul or Atma. As we switch on a light bulb, the darkness stays for some time. Then gradually the light spreads, engulfing everything around it. It illuminates all substance. Things take on a new meaning in this light. Clear and sharp, well defined. Such is Krishna consciousness. It overtakes all our senses. This sweet light spreads inside our being. Oneness with the lord.

Krishna is Vishwatma....Supreme Consciousness!

'Aum Namoh Bhagwatey Vasudevay Namaha'

An image in my memory

Moments of solitude. Enveloped in silence. There is some sound in the distance. Traffic. Street lights are just turning on. Sun has almost set on the Hong Kong Harbour. Disappearing behind the hills.

It is the most beautiful time of the day for me. Mesmerising. Day transitions into night. Creates magic every where. Colours change. Blue, then Golden and Crimson. Everything visible merges into darkness. One beautiful day has passed us. With its gift of life. Not to come back again. Rare moments which I want to cherish. Capture them in my memory. To replay in future.

It is a unique day. One of its kind.

Why nothing feels beautiful any more?

Recently I visited a history museum. After a long-long time in fact. May be after a decade, at least not since I left college.

There were such beautiful artifacts on display. Old Pottery, Bronze, Gold and Silverware. Each piece looked so unique and beautiful. The designs looked timeless. Though the pottery had lost its glaze with time and the Gold and Silver were no longer glittering. Yet each of the piece was so beautiful.

It made me think.....as usual :)

Gone are the days of customized, personalized products!!!

Today everything is mass made. In good old days each pair of shoe was unique because it was hand made to order. No two pair of shoes would be the same. Clothes were tailored to individual liking and design. Today we pick up most of our clothes from the super markets and stores. House hold items were specially made and so was jewelery; so unique. Everthing was unique. One of its kind.

Today that unique edge is gone. Everything that you buy has many- many duplicates the market. Even when one pays a huge sum of money for a very niche branded product or personal item, rest assured there are thousands of fake look alike of the same item sold all over the world.

Nothing is unique and one of its kind!!!!

And this was my realization.

The old, broken, weathered piece of Pottery I saw in the museum was unique because it was one of its kind. The beautiful Bronze, Silver and Copper ware in the museum was unique because there were no two...three....or tens and thousands of the same mass produced.

Yes, these days nothing really feels beautiful or touches our heart because it has no uniqueness left. Everything is mass produced.

Beauty is about something that is uncommon.....unique.....We have lost beauty in mass production.

Destiny

Places remain where they are. Mostly! People going back to the same place again, the chances are fair. But the 'time' when a person is in a place never comes back.

I might come back to this place again some time in life, the possibility is always there. The place will remain here....at least for a long tine. But this time will never come back again.

This place, me and this time. This trio will never be together....and this is true for every passing second. Every second passes away never to come back. Our invisible companion disappears in eternity never ever to come back.

Death is every second that dies never to come back ever.....and that's how we die....every second of our life.

God's Canvas

God's Canvas. Each stroke of his brush is a master-piece.

I am witnessing a beautiful day today.

A clear Blue sky. Have never seen it clearer than this ever before.

Puffy Grey and White Clouds. Floating aimlessly in the sky. Silly thought crosses my mind. These White Clouds are God's cotton, to cleanse the earth!

Well rounded, not so high Mountains in the distance. Green. It is monsoon. Clouds playing hide & seek with the mountains. Covering the peaks. Sun shine reflecting on the folds and creases of the mountain. Highlighting its lush Green foliage. Trees, Shrubs and grass.

Sun is about to set for the day. Crisp, bright Sun-shine. Surrounding every thing in its Golden glow.

Nearby is an inlet of the Sea. Its waves gentle. The Sea keeps changing color. Blue, Green and sometines Brown. The Sea looks as if sprinked with shimmering Gold dust. Each wave is capped with Gold and Silver.

Pleasant, soft, light breeze gently swaying the plants around in a rythm.

Everything is so perfectly synchronized. The Sky, Clouds, Mountains, Sun, Sea, Breeze. Not a stroke out of place. A master piece.

What wrong with Indian men? Why are they letting loose their lust on innocent women?

I am truly disgusted with men. Indian men. Why have they lost control over their sex-drive and letting it loose on innocent women? Whats wrong with these men? Every day the Newspapers and Television carries some news item on innocent women who have fallen victim to a Rape.

Last 2-3 days have been full of them. Delhi as usual takes a lead. A women gets raped by the Police on duty at the police station in Delhi, a young house wife (just 22 years of age) gets raped inside her house by men who pose as her husband's friends.

Unfortunately Mumbai which use to be very safe until about a decade back is quick catching up with Delhi - a maid (likely to be a minor) gets raped by a well know actor, a small girl complains of pain in her private parts and is taken to a local Municipal Hospital by her female relatives. The young girl tells the Doctor that she was being regularly raped by her father, girls mother denies the charges and takes the girl back without lodging an FIR!

Small cities were never behind in such crimes- a women from Mumbai who had gone to Bhopal is raped by men in a moving car in the night at Bhopal.

What are women in positions of authority and power doing to safe guard those of their on like in India? Should we even bother electing women in the government?

- Dr Pratibha Patil - President of India.
- Mrs Sonia Gandhi - Most Powerful political figure in India.
- Mrs Sheila Dixit - Chief Minister of Delhi.

It is a shame shame shame. Indian men must be ashamed of themselves . Truly ashamed. Women must come out and condemn such acts of cowardice and atrocities against them.

Mind and Body do not travel together

It is a challenge to keep the two in the same place; at the same time. Mind keeps jumping ahead of the body. Travels short and long distances. In the past and in the future. But the body can remain only in one place and that is the present. Body transitions in time, second after second. It can not be hastened. This pace can not be altered. But the mind transitions days and years. Body here means the human form and mind is thoughts.

The body does not crave to be in the past or the future. It know only the present. Hence all the needs. Needs are not past or future. Needs are only present. Now. Hunger, sleep, love....

Desires can be past, present or future. So is pain and unhappiness.

Living in the present means keeping the mind and the body in the same place. Both being together. Living in the present is freedom from desires. There is no pain or unhappiness in this moment. Pain or unhappiness is our reflection of the past.

Living in the present is stillness. Stopping the pendulum of time in the present moment. It means happiness. Freedom from pain and unhappiness.

Trip to Macau

Interesting city. Also called the Las Vegas of East. There are 31 casinos in Macau!Gambling is legal here.

It was a Portuguese colony for about 450 years. While the language is no longer spoken, the signage's are still there a reminder of its past. Many sites worth visiting; all a reminder of its legacy. The ruins of saint Paul's cathedral, the Mayors old residence, Moorish Barracks, Guia Fortress, and Churches. The old Portuguese architecture is very soothing. Enchanting. The exterior is mostly painted White or Creamish yellow. Lots of Arches, shady verandah's and big windows. Reminiscent of a long gone past- of sailors and priests.....life was so uncomplicated. Serene.

Complexely interwoven in the cities culture alongside the Postugese monuments are the brightly light, Golden Hotels and Casino Buildings. I was left wondering about the electicity consumption of this city. The Hotels are maginficent- The Grand Lisboa, tallest building in Macau, MGM Grand Hotel and the Ventian is a latest addition. The buildings are absolutely stunning- all covered with Neon lights from top to botton. At night the city glows and shines....in rainbow colours. A lot of the newer areas are reclaimed land. Well connected by a mesh of fly-overs and bridges right in the middle of the Sea. Public transportation is limited to the Bus. Taxis are abundant. The Macau tower is an interesting experience. Opportunity to Sky jump, Bungy jump and sky walk. It is the 10th highest tower in the world and 8th highest in Asia. Amazing modern Architecture.

But what the city probably lacks is the spirit of Las Vegas. The loudness, the naughtiness of Vegas. Something about Vegas makes it look and sound like a very sexy women. I found that missing in Macau.

Macau has its owm currency called Phataka. In terms of value 1 Phataka is almost equal to a Hongkong Dollar. However Hongkong dollar is also accepted all over the city. The people of Macau are very friendly and helpful. Hotels decent and staff is courteous.

Overall a very exciting and interesting experience.

Breaking free from old patterns..how easy or how difficult is it?

Breaking free from old patterns..how easy or how difficult is it? I am discovering for myself.

Basis this realisation that I have been living a regimented life so far. Its not just about me. I am just a prototype; there are millions out there who share a similar background. At least in the Indian urban context. From the time I gained some semblance of self (ego or awareness), it was school and life revolved around the school. Almost 14 years of a very strict, time driven disciplined life.Then came college and professional education. This period was not as regimental, but being the studious kind of a person, I dint really hang around in the canteens or movie theaters....so again there was discipline and routine for me at least.

Education over, came professional or work life. Again time bound. Almost as strict and disciplined in terms of time and effort as school/College was. The School teachers were replaced by strict superiors and bosses.

School put one kind of pressure on the mind...to do well.. to score well... to perform in extra -curricular etc etc...Parents and teachers had set % targets (across all the standards right from 1st onwards...). Reprimand from teachers....

Work life has been similar pressures.... to do well.....performance...reprimand from bosses....

Now my mind is completely conditioned to this routine, pressure and discipline (forced one).

But for how long can we take this without cracking? Result burn out. Exhaustion, boredom, disinterest, lack of focus, urge to get away from it all. What is the way out?

The solution lies in getting out of this pattern. But not easy. Requires one to take some harsh and risky decisions. But then I have realized that to grow and discover a higher self, it is important to take this risk. To get out of this conditioned existence and break free. I was delaying it. But yes, there has been an acceptance that this patterns has to change.

Now I am working towards a plan to free myself of this conditioning; get out of this highly time bound and disciplined life!! To find a more meaningful and creative purpose.

Has not been easy....It is very difficult to unlearn so many years of such rigid existence.

The pressure to perform has become so much a part of me..that now that its not there, I feel this terrible lightness in my head....:)

I am trying to break out of this pattern. So many small small habits....keep looking at the watch; keep looking at the phone as if it will come to life suddenly; keep checking mails....

It is not easy to break free from such old conditioning. But yes, I am trying!

Why do we have to take decisions?

Life would be so good if there were no decisions to taken..isn't it so?

But no...we have to choose...take decisions. I am happy that god has given me the power and intelligence to take decisions....but sometimes I hate choosing. If only one event after the other would unfold on its own and life would go on smoothly. What will happen after the decision has been taken is what I fear. So many a times I keep postponing decisions.

It is a realisation that as we grow older, the decisions we are required to take also become more complex. Don't know why? I think as we grow older we also become so complex. Too much unwanted information gets stored in our brain. As we grow older we take longer to decide. Reminds me of my computer. When the hard disk is loaded with too much data and I recall some information....the poor computer takes this ages to get the info. Same happens to our brain too. We check out too many pros and cons, calculate the outcome of our decisions and are too cautious!

I have realized that the more I postpone taking a decision, the tougher it gets to actually decide.

But then what would life be if we had no choices to make? Nothing :)-

Work-life balance for women

There is a vast difference in the way men deal with their career and the way women approach their career. For men, it is a life long need, necessity, engagement.....or what ever you may choose to call it.

For women it is different. Most women until they get married, are if not more, equally competitive and involved with their career as their male counterparts. I have been through long work hours as much as my male counterparts. But post marriage, things change for a women. Slowly marriage (husband), children and home becomes her priority. Children and husband need as much, if not more attention as career.

Yah, there are many women out there who will strongly disagree with what I have written. But having been working for a long time myself (both before and after marriage), I see a vast difference in my own career orientation. There is a greater pressure to strike a balance between "home" and the "office".

Women have an option which many of them exercise post marriage - to have a career or to become a home maker and not step out to work. The choice is there in many cases!

Men are not so lucky. As far as earning is concerned; they have little choice. They are the bread earners, also because they choose not to take on the home makers role.

From my own experience, there are many male friends who started their careers with me. Somewhere post marriage, I have consciously slowed down my pace (though I am still far more career minded than many of my female friends). My male friends who started their careers with me are much ahead of me. In terms of monetary gains or even the authority which comes with growth. They are ahead. I am as capable as many of them are; yet the choice to slow down was mine. Somewhere post marriage, I lost the competitiveness or that killing desire to succeed in my professional career. One can say; it dint matter as much.

After marriage, most women start looking for exits in this marathon called career. Either they get tired, burn out, too many responsibilities, children and their upbringing.....and so with time they start slowing down in their career. Again I am not stating that all of them do it, or all of them go through this phase, but yes a majority of them do.

Women must redefine career and not blindly go with the male definition of a career. Somewhere the need of the hour for married women, who are educated and skilled is to use their education and skills to be financially independent.

Career for a married women, who is a wife, a mother and a home maker is "to have the freedom of being creatively engaged, become financially independent, and have the time and energy required to become a good home maker." Long work hours, long hours commuting and job related stress bring imbalance in the married life.

I am attempting to differentiate between having a cut throat career orientation and being financially independent through flexi-working hours.

Unfortunately in India, there aren't too many avenues for women to keep flexi-working hours. As a result many intelligent and potential young managers (women) are forced to quit their careers and become home makers. Which is a loss for the Industry and also a loss for the economy.

Having said all that, if there are some brilliant women executives who are managing all this well (home and career), then they must step out and share their experiences with those not so lucky to strike this balance. More so in India.

How Rich, Is truly Rich?

Off late, one question/thought is coming to my mind again and again. "Can making more and more money be the only goal in one's life?".

Sounds scary. Feels scary. To think that every precious minute of one's life is directed towards making money! More and more of it. The only balance we know is ......sadly "Bank Balance".

How rich is truly rich? Is anyone in the world truly rich enough? If no, then is anyone in the world truly poor?

Is Maslow Hierarchy Failing?

Every day in the newspaper, I get to read that so and so company has cut so many employees or jobs.....It is disheartening. Intelligent, Competent, Committed and most of all highly Capable individuals have become a liability, just a cost! Organizations are coming up with the most ridiculous ways to get rid of employees. Some times blunt, some times false, at times considerate yet firm. Yes, the message comes to those chosen. You have to go! You have to go and feed your family. On what? there is no answer. Where will the next job come from?there is no answer.

Employee motivation is in pits. The fear of loosing once job, has killed creativity and engagement at all levels. Without motivation, where will performance come from? Without employee performance, how will organizations turn-around? No one knows. Right now they are all looking short term to cut looses.

It's sad to see, so may disengaged employees across industries. Each day thousands and lakhs of them go home, to further spread this gloom to their families. Suddenly "employee" word has become shameful. No ones wants to be where they are. Senior. Middle management or those at the lower levels. Everyone wants to move on from the current employer. In search of a better place to work, utopia. Which does not exist.

People who has worked hard to reach self esteem or self actualization on Maslow's Hierarchy, have slipped down to safety and security. Many time tested management models are failing. Everyone is grappling in the dark. Looks like we are dealing with an unknown monster this time.

My Green grocer, Car washer, and Tailor are certainly better off. No fear of loosing jobs. Job is not good work any more, it is just a necessity. Hang on...be there till times change. No one says, do good work and stay there. Who is to blame? I would say the senior management. Is that why they are paid hefty salaries?For not having looked at solutions and picked up employee exit or churn as the only option. It is a low hanging fruit anyways. Least creative solution!!!Cut cost by cutting jobs. We will hire when we need them. What about Corporate Social Responsibility?

Unless the HR department wakes up and handles this situation, employee disengagement may have serious consequences on the productivity and as a result turn around. Counseling cells have to be set up, help employee's cope with these tough times. The focus has to be on increasing productivity with the existing people, and not churning people to cut costs.

Lantau Buddha

Recently I had opportunity to visit Hongkong. A must visit place I realised is the famous Lantau Buddha. One can reach it by road, else by Rope Car. I would advise the Rope Car because the ride is scenic and thrilling. There is a rope car terminal at Tung Chung Station. But one must have a head for heights. Else it can be unnerving. Dangling thousands of feet in free air in a small glass cabin which swings with the wind......well worth it. The rope car ends at Ngong Ping village, from where it is about 15 minutes of walking and about 100 odd steps to climb. The effort is worth because the sight of Buddha, calm; sitting in the Lotus posture is truly majestic and awesome. Also do not miss the Po Lin monastery and the fantastic Vegetarian meals surved in monastery campus.

My childhood friend, very sweet Jasbir.

A very dear friend of mine deserves a mention on my Blog. Her name is Jasbir and she is my childhood friend (the only one with whom I am in touch with). We grew up together. And then life goes one and we lost touch with each other. I moved away from Mumbai and completely forgot to remain in touch with her.

But after many years and after a lot of effort she managed to trace me. And we met again and then onwards we are in touch. Though not as frequently as one wishes to....but on and off!I am a busy working executive and a home maker. She too is the mother of a lovely 11 year old son. His name is Monty and his birthday falls on the next day as mine. Mine being 22nd November and his 23rd November.

Last one year has been particularly busy for me. Many things happening on the personal front and work front. Unfortunately once again I forgot to remain in touch with my Childhood friend; dear Jasbir. When ever she called me during this time, I was in a meeting or I was driving or something else occupied me. I promised her that I would return her call...but never kept my promise.

And one day....after many many many months I received an sms on my mobile phone. It was an unknown number. I was curious. Who could it be? The message too was touching. Since I have stored in on my mobile; I would like to share it verbatim, "To let someone realize your importance try to stay away so that they miss you......But don't stay away for such a long time that they teach themselves how to live without you....."..The message was so touching that I had tears in my eyes. I still dint know who had sent it..So I replied back asking whose number it was....No guesses! It was my friend Jasbir. Her message made me feel so miserable. I truly hated myself for not having got in touch with her earlier.

There are so many people to whom we matter. And we just take them for granted. My dear friend Jassi. I truly value your friendship. You are a part of my Childhood & all its beautiful memories. I cherish ever minute that we spent together....eating, playing, watching Television and so many more girlish talks that we had. It will remain in my heart till I get old and have amnesia or dementia what ever they call it. And then memories will fade away gradually. But till then it is a promise that I care for you. Lots of Love to you and Monty.

Twin Souls

Sitting together in a busy Restaurant
Talking about various things under the Sun
She smiling, just happy to be there
He mesmerized with her dark intelligent eyes

If time is a road; they have traveled some distance together
Inseparable, holding hands through ups and downs

Years later; once in a while
She closes her eyes to travel back in time
Sitting together in a busy Restaurant
Talking about various things under the Sun

Time will pass; memories will linger
Forms will fade away, twin souls traveling together

In some other World, at some other time
He mesmerized with her dark intelligent eyes
She smiling, just happy to be there
Talking about various things under the Sun

Which is the best way to live?

I really don't know how many people actually face this dilemma at some time in life. Which is the best way to live?

To find the quite within one self or to loose the self in the hustle, bustle and noise of the outside world?

As I go deeper into myself (where ever- the heart, mind, soul or conscience); the connect with the outside world gradually fades away....the humming sounds slow down and gradually they fade away. All the noise in my head is replaced with a powerful silence.....I feel this is the kind of silence which exists in the Deep Blue Universe. The Universe (outside the earth) must be a very quite place. Nothing to disturb the silence. No Trains & Buses, no phones or people...........eternal silence! The more I travel within myself; more I connect with an eternal silence of the Deep Blue Universe. Its a mystery. How can a Human mind, caged in a human body connect with the far away Universe? Yes, there is a bridge. A mystical bridge called meditation.

Swearing In Of Barrack Obama as the 44th President of USA

Just finished watching the swearing in ceremony of the new President of America, Barrack Obama. Undoubtedly, a grand event. Awesome. A strong message to the World. The power of America. Supremacy of America over the world. It was a very costly ceremony for a nation which is struggling with recession, job cuts and terrorism.

What touched my heart was the vulnerability of the Obama family. His wife looked emotional and out of place. His father, caught in the moment. His daughters enjoying the moment, probably not realizing the criticality of this ceremony in the world history.

What made me wake up, almost in the middle of night and capture this moment and feelings on my blog was Barrack Obama himself- he looked somber, detached and tense. There is an air of intellect and spirituality which Obama carries around. It was as if he was telling himself, I must be strong. Something about Barrack Obama is very arresting. Something about him brings hope.

What also touched me about the telecast was one old black woman. She was extremely emotional, greatly touched by his swearing ceremony. The pride on her face; to see a black man (an African) taking oath to the most powerful position in the world. It is probably for the first time in the history of Africa that an African has raised to such great heights. More so because Africans have always been looked down upon in history as slaves. Modern world talks about Africa as a poor, developing nation.

I sincerely wish Barrack Obama all the very best! He has a daunting task ahead of him. Barrack Obama spoke of hope & virtue. May god grace him with Honesty and Virtue. Good luck to the citizens of America.

Celebrating 26th January, Indian Republic Day

An ode to India, my motherland, My Matrubhumi!

I am what I am because I am an Indian.

Words are inadequate and difficult to define
Feeling of love, for this nation of mine.
It is dear to me with its field and farm
For it has taught me all that I am.

Respect for differences and faith in divine
Spirituality is our nation's life line.
Glory of Himalayas, piety of Ganges and gaiety of Goa
India is a land of Ram, Rahim, Christ and Mary amma…

Values & virtues are still alive
Respect for parents, elders and teachers is a matter of pride.
Old live among the young and says the little boy,
Touching elder's feet gives immense joy.

Agreed there is population explosion
Poverty, Illiteracy & Corruption.
Roads are dirty, crowded and pothole ridden,
But for me they thrive with life, warmth and lead to the Eden.

They say West is the best, I beg to differ
Their super-highways, clean cities are empty coffers.
'Cos they lack life and its simple treasure troves,
Food tastes better when eaten with hands and served with love.

Being an Indian, lies in my very existence
Not in its rat race or power grabbing games...
Words are inadequate, and difficult to define
Feeling of pride for this motherland of mine.

Words don't express my gratitude to this nation
I am what I am because I am an Indian.