As young children, my brother and myself grew up in a joint family. The house was always filled with people. Cousins of same age group to play with, uncles and aunts and our dear grand-parents. My grand-parents are no more there with us. They have long departed from this world. But their blessings are with us. And the love, care and most important their values and the simple wisdom which they have shared with us children.
As adults we live in a nuclear family. Just me and my husband. And occasional visitors.
With passing time, comes the realization. There was and is a lot of merit in the old family system. Joint families gave us so much comfort. Children like us grew up under the strong and steady influence of elders. Moms, aunts and elder sisters stayed home to cater to the family needs. Healthy food, clean environment, love, care and strong values. We were taught to share everything with others.
There are many families today where both the parents step out to work. Nuclear families make it difficult for elderly parents to stay with their children. Many cases aged parents too want their freedom, hence they too prefer staying alone. Children are raised by semi-literate maid servants. Parents earn salaries in lakhs, yet the children are brought up by maids who are paid few thousands. Maids come from poor back-grounds, speak crude language and many of them have poor morals.
One step further, there are couples where the women step out to work which requires a lot of travel. They are away from their homes for months, may be years too. So the husband and children are left to cater for themselves. Once again comes handy the maid. She cooks and keeps the house clean. At times may be mothers the children too.
Men are getting married late, women are getting married later. Past 30' is fashionable and feasible. Result. More conflicts. Lesser sharing and poorer adjustments. More break-ups.
Children too have too much of everything except parental care and attention. More toys, more clothes, more books....result: Unruly, adamant and demanding children. More pressure on parents.
And many many more complications.
The point I was trying to drive home is - having taken a break from my very busy and demanding career, I have more time to introspect. And thus came this realization. There was and is a lot of merit in what my Grand-parents said....about life and living. As a child I dint understand it. And may be dint appreciate it. But now, I am far more appreciative of the older, conservative approach to life. The time tested Indian way of living.
