Saturday, November 28, 2009

This equation has gone wrong....shoudn't it be corrected?

The only thing I find more complex than my own thoughts, is relationships. Closer the relation, more important it is. More important it is, more complex it is. And greater power it has to make us happy or unhappy. 

In order of importance, off course parents come first. My relationship with them is the oldest, closest and most powerful. It is an inherited, invisible bond....their smallest pain or unhappiness can break me into pieces. 


I am blessed to be born as a daughter to my parents. As equal opportunity parents; both me and my brother shared similar upbringing. There wasn't any preference. For my parents' there still isn't any preference. As a daughter, I can only reflect upon this from my own perspective. There comes a time in one's life (as a daughter) when we have to leave our parents and move into a new home. It is almost a universal phenomenon. Many things change after that. Much though we wish, it is not always possible to join our parents and share with them their happiness or even unhappiness.  Many a times, we become (not by choice) silent spectators to our parents quality of life!

So much is changing in the social set-up. More working couples. Greater focus on modern (as against traditional) upbringing of children. Hence....grand-parents are more dispensable....younger generation has lesser time and patience with older parents!!! 

There are many examples all around us. I have a very dear friend (she is a practicing Doctor). Off late my friend is feeling quite low and not her usual self. Reason; her old, ailing mother is being mistreated by her brother and sister-in-law. The poor old lady has no other place to live, except with her only son and daughter-in-law. My friend is doing her best to make things comfortable for her mother. But sadly she is facing many challenges from her own husband. He is not too keen on his wife he;ling her old mother. As a daughter, I can completely understand her situation and empathize with her. 

Many son's don't look after their old parents. Mainly because they are conditioned to think and act other-wise by their own spouses.  Similarly many daughter's do not look after their parent-in-laws, while they want to take good care of their own parents. There is a role reversal between son's and daughter's. Daughter's are becoming more like son's.....and son's want to remain only husbands'........dint I say it was all too complex!!!!

Son's must respect and take very good care of their parents. Daughter-in-laws must respect and take very good care of their parent-in-laws. This way daughter's needn't worry about their own parents and leave it to their own brother/sister-in-law. Daughter's must replicate the same and love care for their own parent- in-laws.

This equation has gone wrong. It has to be sight right, firstly in our own mind. As a son or as a daughter. Not difficult at all......all it needs is a shift in the way we approach relationships.