Let God run his business

This is one of the most profound learning in life I had. From a young age, I always did what ever was in my limit/ some times went beyond my limit too....

Giving my near and dear one's what they desired. Almost like 'make a wish foundation' within my family. I lived to fulfill the wishes of my near and dear one's.  Never thought about self and my needs. It just did not occur to me....to focus on self...

I like to communicate. Believe that it is a gift from God. This is one way we connect to the world around us...but as years passed by, this very communication became my pain. The more openly I communicated with those around me, greater problems it created for me. More differences and distances cropped up...Then came a time when those around me wanted me to be quite....speak less and less...their happiness lay in my silence. It was a saddening time for me. 

However what I gave, they continued to receive my bounty...but not willing to lend an ear to my emotions and heart. 

Until the whole experience became unbearable for me. What is going wrong? Where am I erring? Introspection and more introspection...days and days of churning within me...

And this is the essence of my realizations...

****Life is about loving yourself first. I was not doing this. I was loving others far more.

****God has given us, as a human being only so many resources. Theses are just enough to look after yourself well. I was spending these resources on others. 

****I was running a master franchisee for God....not needed..

****It is God's business to look after the World he has created. And to give people what and how much they desire. He has a Universe at his disposal to do so :)

****He does not need me to run his business of looking after the World. I was only messing up like a little child trying to help his mother while she cooks dinner in the kitchen...create a mess all around. 

****And so the greatest learning and lesson....Let God run his business...

So here I am...with a promise to myself...to love myself first....to look after myself first...and remove the Santa Claus hat I was wearing at all times....and live for myself....and most important....not to waste energy trying to communicate with the world..if they need anything...they will come asking...else happy silence....this is what God wants me to do....simply run my own business of life efficiently!!!!!!