Letting out a little secret about myself.

This is one secret about me which not many people know off. May be my parents and to some extend my husband.

Nothing serious. Now in retrospect somewhat humorous.

My childhood (the early 70's) was the time of hippies and bell-bottoms. As a child I saw these images in movies, there was very little television in those days. Indian actress Zeenat Aman was iconic in her flower printed maxi's (gowns), with layers of beads around her neck and a bandana on her forehead. Smoking a cheerot in the movie "Hare Krishna Hare Ram", she carried an almost Nirvana like expressions on her face in the movie.

As I grew up, painting caught my interest. More like a hobby. I would play with colors, spend my summer holidays and wet rainy days painting what ever caught my fancy. I simply loved painting in those days. Not sound rude, but I was indeed very good at it. Very original and creative in the use of textures and colors. My parents would proudly display my paintings to relatives and friends, praising my talent. But they wanted me to become a Doctor!

At school, my teachers too recognized my talent. They encouraged me to participate in contests and entered my name on behalf of my school. I did win some of them.

So while my parents wanted me to become a doctor and my teachers too thought that I will do well in academic (which I did) what was it that I wanted????

Ah! thats the secret which I have mentioned in the first para of this write-up. I was very impressed with the hippies and the freedom they enjoyed in life. Let me be upfront. It had nothing to do with the so called concept of free sex. Because I was too young to know and understand this concept of free sex. But yes, my dream was to live like a hippy. Wearing clothes such as what Zeenat Aman wore in the movie "Hare Krishna Hare Ram" and generally roaming from one place to another with a gang of hippies. So how would I support myself? where would the money come from? that where my hobby came into the picture. I planned to paint. Become a world famous painter and live in the cities of famous painters such as Michelangelo and Picasso. No house..just live in cheap digs and attics.Paint ...paint and paint...I am unable to recollect if I wanted to do the drugs. Maybe not. Just live a free life, learning to paint from some great masters in Rome and Venice. I just wanted to paint, paint and paint.

People who know me as the mis-in-control at all times, will find it very funny and difficult to imagine that I wanted to become a hippy!!!

My parents has a dream that I become a Doctor. Living like a hippy and aspiring to become a Doctor is like the Sun and the moon on the earth's horizon at the same time in the noon heat!!!Impossible.

Somewhere with the passing years, I took up the academic path. Went for my studies. Doctor I did not become. But ok. I am doing fairly well in my career today.

When I am too bogged down with work pressures and life problems, this innocent childhood dream of living life like a hippy and doing what I loved doing the most i.e painting re-surfaces.

I have not given up my childhood dream of holding a solo Art exhibition of my work. With changed life style; work pressure and managing a home the dream I have slightly modified.

It is a promise to myself. I will certainly hold a solo exhibition of my work. But not paintings'. It will be photography. And about living like a hippy. Not impossible. Except that now my husband will have to agree too. To live like a hippy!!! May be when we are old....60-70 years of age. We will become hippies. With flowered clothes and banadana's, smoking cheerot and playing th guitar. Very amusing thought.

However, I am intelligent enough to modify my dream and make it more practical.

Be kind to yourself, take life easy

I see so much reaction all around me. Loud and violent. People are getting louder and louder. They speak loudly, they fight more, laugh loudly, hug and kiss publically or scream loudly. I wonder why are we being so unkind to ourselves? Loudness leads to stress, blood pressure shots up, heart beats increase and toxic chemicals flow into the blood stream. So many and such loud reactions.....Why? What for?

Have you ever noticed the child like smile of His Holy Highness "The Dalai Lama"...so sweet...so tender...he speaks like an innocent child...every sentence ends in a genuine crackling soft laughter!!!Always at peace within himself. Nothing is exaggerated about him.Even the killings of beloved Tibetans did not draw a harsh criticism from him. Nothing can shatter his peace of mind....so I think.

Shri SaiBaba (Shirdi) once said "Samadhi is not about yoga or retreating from the world on a mountain. Samadhi is about remaining in the world and attaining a state of mind where one is neither happy nor unhappy. It is that state where the mind is still like a pendulum....right in the middle."

But what do we do? Our mind keeps swinging like a pendulum. Between happiness and unhappiness...continuously ...every second...every minute...we get extremely happy and then extremely unhappy...there goes the pendulum.

It is all about restraint and controlling our reactions. Remember a pendulum next time you become too happy or to unhappy...And think of the center of the pendulum. Calm your self. Remember the pendulum as still..right in the middle. Tell your self....."..there goes my pendulum...I must stop it..."

"People keep throwing hot balls at us. They expect us to catch one of them and burn our hands. Surprise them by dropping these hot balls." - is my mantra to peace and happiness.

One does not have to react to everything that happens around us. Learn to let go reacting. Remember every time you react/over react; you are doing maximum harm to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Take it easy.

Living an unconventional life

Thanks to God, each one of us is born with unlimited opportunity. He brings us into the world as cute little babies and then like a proud mother waits for us to grow up and succeed in life. To prevent boredom and to make the earth and interesting place, he made each of us different. Unlike the Brinjals (Aubergines) and the Potatoes!!! God was of the view that in creating us the way he did (different from each other) he was gifting mankind with an immense potential for greatness. Each life is a unique life with infinite possibilities. How exciting!

But it is a very disappointing job being God! Because no body wants to lead a different life. There are no takers for his potential.Generations after generations, we want to live life the same. Spend precious minutes of god gifted life on meaningless chores - playing, studying, eating , sleeping, fighting, falling in love, falling out of love, making money, loosing money, being happy, being unhappy, marrying, divorcing, having children, not having children and then death.

Not that there weren't those who dared to differ. They too were children of God. Of whom he is immensely proud. Jesus Christ, Lord Buddha, Mother Teresa...... a life of compassion........yes, they choose a different path. The unconventional path.....so they were shunned and hurt and insulted...but they continued...because it was the path of God. It was the path of his glory.

Do not condemn and ridicule those who want to live an unconventional life. They are only fulfilling god's wish. Using some of his gift- the potential to be unique.