Realising the merit of what my grandparents said.....

As young children, my brother and myself grew up in a joint family. The house was always filled with people. Cousins of same age group to play with, uncles and aunts and our dear grand-parents. My grand-parents are no more there with us. They have long departed from this world. But their blessings are with us. And the love, care and most important their values and the simple wisdom which they have shared with us children. 

As adults we live in a nuclear family. Just me and my husband. And occasional visitors. 

With passing time, comes the realization. There was and is a lot of merit in the old family system. Joint families gave us so much comfort. Children like us grew up under the strong and steady influence of elders. Moms, aunts and elder sisters stayed home to cater to the family needs. Healthy food, clean environment, love, care and strong values. We were taught to share everything with others. 

There are many families today where both the parents step out to work. Nuclear families make it difficult for elderly parents to stay with their children. Many cases aged parents too want their freedom, hence they too prefer staying alone. Children are raised by semi-literate maid servants. Parents earn salaries in lakhs, yet the children are brought up by maids who are paid few thousands. Maids come from poor back-grounds, speak crude language and many of them have poor morals. 

One step further, there are couples where the women step out to work which requires a lot of travel. They are away from their homes for months, may be years too. So the husband and children are left to cater for themselves. Once again comes handy the maid. She cooks and keeps the house clean. At times may be mothers the children too. 

Men are getting married late, women are getting married later. Past 30' is fashionable and feasible. Result. More conflicts. Lesser sharing and poorer adjustments. More break-ups. 

Children too have too much of everything except parental care and attention. More toys, more clothes, more books....result: Unruly, adamant and demanding children. More pressure on parents. 

And many many more complications. 

The point I was trying to drive home is - having taken a break from my very busy and demanding career, I have more time to introspect. And thus came this realization. There was and is a lot of merit in what my Grand-parents said....about life and living. As a child I dint understand it. And may be dint appreciate it. But now, I am far more appreciative of the older, conservative approach to life. The time tested Indian way of living.

Living in light

Just as light kills darkness, faith kills fear. Faith is like light, and fear darkness. Religion teaches faith in God. Where there is faith, there is no fear. Just as where there is light, there is no darkness.Faith and fear are mutually exclusive. They can not co-exist. Just as light and darkness. Go with a faith that takes you away from fear, and not one that instills fear. Faith is God. God is light. Where there is light, there is no darkness.

What have I learnt?

People often say, "Life has taught me so much" or "I have learned so much from life"......is it true? Do we actually learn anything from life?

Learning is a realization.....not many reach that stage or level. Most of us simply experience life. We move from one experience to another.

Thoughts flow from teachings. Thoughts become teachings.

Feelings flow from experiences.

I would rather say, "I have experienced this or that about life". Most of us are comfortable sharing thoughts. Not many talk about experiences.

Check out Is Mumbai no longer cosmopolitan?

Hi,

I want you to take a look at : Is Mumbai no longer cosmopolitan?

Mumbai.... (ke liye kuch)..... kar

One more debate...one more talk show....Congress vs. Shiv Sena vs. MNS! And as usual political bickering hijacked the true objective of the show....and sadly but once again, Mumbai was forgotten..

Recently I had an opportunity to attend a discussion forum staged by NDTV, "We the people". The compere of the show was celebrity anchor Barkha Dutt...Panel comprised of Milind Deora (Congress), Shweta Parulekar (Shiv sena), Akhilesh Choubey (MNS), Ketan Mehta (Film maker) and some other senior journo's.....the setting was Mukesh Mills in Mumbai.

Topic for discussion was "Is Mumbai loosing its Cosmopolitanism?" Very interesting topic. I participated hoping that something constructive will come out of the show. Something that will benefit my city and make it a better place...But alas...I was so disappointed.

Barkha Dutt is a far bigger celebrity than all those on the panel...well at least that was the impression I had sitting in the audience...she is sort of curt and not a good listener. She too has her fair share of obsession with Raj Thakeray. The flow of the discussion was scattered. Strategically from a TRP point of view the Shiv Sena and MNS representative were made to sit next to one another. And so the sparks flew all the time. ....the only sensible speaker in the panel was Milind Deora, who is a good orator. Milind is suave and diplomatic.....politically correct is a better word. He was the only one on the panel who spoke about the development of Mumbai. And rightfully so...they are the once sitting on a pile of funds granted by center for the development of Mumbai.

Frankly speaking the discussion lacked any central or ore theme. It left a feeling of being very superficial...TRP- TRP types.....in between Barkha also touched upon Karan Johar and the fact that he choose to apologise to MNS chief, inside vs. outsider....migration problem in Mumbai ...blah blah blah ....random questions picked up from the audience, many of which din't make sense.....it all felt scattered and non-conclusive. Did not give a feeling of seriousness.

Made me realize....what was the motive of this show? Was it true interest of Mumbai or just timely TRP grabbing now that Maharashtra elections are round the corner? Who is actually concerned about Mumbai? Sadly no one! Not the politicians, not the media or journalists....

Milind Deora, who gets elected from South Mumbai.....why should he worry about the migration problem in Mumbai.....there are no slums or shanties in south Mumbai....the roads are world class...all the historical structures are well lite and well preserved...all the money that comes to Mumbai goes towards the beautification of these heritage structures....Milind Deora living in Peddar Road is least effected by the Migration problem in Mumbai.....Which made me think....why aren't there any slums or shanties in South Mumbai? Why are the roads broad and well lite? Why is there no traffic jam in South Mumbai.....well the answer was clear....because there is a political will power to keep it that way.

The Shiv Sena and MNS shout "Marathi Manus" just we near elections and then the matter is buried till next elections....are they really concerned about Mumbai and the plight of Mumbaikars? If they are, then at least their actions don't prove it.

Journalists? May be to some extent. At least they choose to express their views! The show was just in time, one day before Maharashtra goes for elections....well timed and a good topic to get TRP's.

As a Mumbaikar (yes irrespective of what the Government policy says, or what the Shiva Sena or MNS have to say, I AM A MUMBAIKAR BECAUSE I THINK SO, THOUGH I AM NOT A MARATHI)....made me think...

The issue is not Marathi vs. Non Marathi....THE ISSUE IS DEVELOPMENT AND QUALITY OF LIFE OF MUMBAIKAR'S...which sadly was not at all discussed in the forum....the forum was once again hijacked by the constant discussions about Raj Thackeray and Shiv Sena....

The issue is not migration...whether it showed be allowed or not allowed...the issue is are we regulating or monitoring or filtering this migration. What is the government doing to make life better for the common Mumbaikar's and also for the poor migrants who come here seeking livelihood.

Within Mumbai, there are 3 mini- Mumbai's.....one is from Colaba to Bandra...clean, spick and span, posh and snob.....this is the Mumbai we want to call a world class city....this is where all the foreigners want to live....and yes, here there is no infection of migrants. Yah!

Then there is a Mumbai from Bandra to Borivili....congested Middle class, sharing high rise buildings with slums.....crowed roads and traffic jams, water and light problem....encroachment on roads, this is the struggling Mumbai....which lives in hope that some day Mumbai will become Shanghai... but yes, there is some hope atleast...thanks to the redevelopment projects! Land grabbing .....

And then there is a 3rd Mumbai....from Dahisar to Virar....life here is a struggle...people live in old building , chawls.......all the vegetable and Milk in Mumbai comes from here...life is a journey....truly yah....life revolves around the Virar- Churchgate fast train....here there is no hope...they don't know what world class means... they haven't heard of Shanghai.......

Which is the true Mumbai? Who is the Mumbaikar we are talking about? The rich South Mumbaikar, the middle class north Mumbaikar or the lower middle to poor suburban Mumbaikar? Is there truly any hope for Mumbai to become a World class city or is this dream of turning it into Shanghai just a political game?

While all political parties are shouting and fighting in the name of Mumbaikar............Me Mumbaikar is pleading to all............."Please koi to Mumbai (ke liye kuch) Kar......"

Someone please do something for Mumbai....

Obama Wins Nobel Peace Prize

Not sure if he is deserving. Too early and too obvious! Obama has failed to charm Americans and the world, post his oath taking speech.

Random thoughts

We all live with our inadequacies. Incompleteness. Some we get, some we don't. Some we get and then loose.

Life is about putting an effort. Moving your body towards a goal. Short term or long term. Physical action is what I mean by moving your body. Drinking a glass of water is a short term goal. I have to move my body to reach out to the water and the glass. How much ever I may think in my mind, neither the water nor the glass will move. The human being has to make an effort towards the object of his goal.

I know many intelligent people (who are luckily gifted with brilliant, creative brains) but are lazy to the highest order. They think and think and think and think.....there is no physical effort in achieving a goal.....Laziness is man's biggest enemy...procrastination....

I want a house of my own. Long term goal. I have to move myself physically by various means to meet this goal. Work in an office, go to the bank to deposit money, go and search out for various houses....blah blah blah...blah. The point I am trying to make here is that anything and everything that we want to achieve in life, requires an effort of the body. Physical effort.

So set a goal and go for it. Ask your self this question.....how much have I physically moved closer to my goal...how much distance have I traveled today to be nearer to my goal......how much effort can I put more, inorder to be closer to my goal....hard work.....work hard.....put an effort......physical effort....