Breaking free from old patterns..how easy or how difficult is it? I am discovering for myself.
Basis this realisation that I have been living a regimented life so far. Its not just about me. I am just a prototype; there are millions out there who share a similar background. At least in the Indian urban context. From the time I gained some semblance of self (ego or awareness), it was school and life revolved around the school. Almost 14 years of a very strict, time driven disciplined life.Then came college and professional education. This period was not as regimental, but being the studious kind of a person, I dint really hang around in the canteens or movie theaters....so again there was discipline and routine for me at least.
Education over, came professional or work life. Again time bound. Almost as strict and disciplined in terms of time and effort as school/College was. The School teachers were replaced by strict superiors and bosses.
School put one kind of pressure on the mind...to do well.. to score well... to perform in extra -curricular etc etc...Parents and teachers had set % targets (across all the standards right from 1st onwards...). Reprimand from teachers....
Work life has been similar pressures.... to do well.....performance...reprimand from bosses....
Now my mind is completely conditioned to this routine, pressure and discipline (forced one).
But for how long can we take this without cracking? Result burn out. Exhaustion, boredom, disinterest, lack of focus, urge to get away from it all. What is the way out?
The solution lies in getting out of this pattern. But not easy. Requires one to take some harsh and risky decisions. But then I have realized that to grow and discover a higher self, it is important to take this risk. To get out of this conditioned existence and break free. I was delaying it. But yes, there has been an acceptance that this patterns has to change.
Now I am working towards a plan to free myself of this conditioning; get out of this highly time bound and disciplined life!! To find a more meaningful and creative purpose.
Has not been easy....It is very difficult to unlearn so many years of such rigid existence.
The pressure to perform has become so much a part of me..that now that its not there, I feel this terrible lightness in my head....:)
I am trying to break out of this pattern. So many small small habits....keep looking at the watch; keep looking at the phone as if it will come to life suddenly; keep checking mails....
It is not easy to break free from such old conditioning. But yes, I am trying!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Why do we have to take decisions?
Life would be so good if there were no decisions to taken..isn't it so?
But no...we have to choose...take decisions. I am happy that god has given me the power and intelligence to take decisions....but sometimes I hate choosing. If only one event after the other would unfold on its own and life would go on smoothly. What will happen after the decision has been taken is what I fear. So many a times I keep postponing decisions.
It is a realisation that as we grow older, the decisions we are required to take also become more complex. Don't know why? I think as we grow older we also become so complex. Too much unwanted information gets stored in our brain. As we grow older we take longer to decide. Reminds me of my computer. When the hard disk is loaded with too much data and I recall some information....the poor computer takes this ages to get the info. Same happens to our brain too. We check out too many pros and cons, calculate the outcome of our decisions and are too cautious!
I have realized that the more I postpone taking a decision, the tougher it gets to actually decide.
But then what would life be if we had no choices to make? Nothing :)-
But no...we have to choose...take decisions. I am happy that god has given me the power and intelligence to take decisions....but sometimes I hate choosing. If only one event after the other would unfold on its own and life would go on smoothly. What will happen after the decision has been taken is what I fear. So many a times I keep postponing decisions.
It is a realisation that as we grow older, the decisions we are required to take also become more complex. Don't know why? I think as we grow older we also become so complex. Too much unwanted information gets stored in our brain. As we grow older we take longer to decide. Reminds me of my computer. When the hard disk is loaded with too much data and I recall some information....the poor computer takes this ages to get the info. Same happens to our brain too. We check out too many pros and cons, calculate the outcome of our decisions and are too cautious!
I have realized that the more I postpone taking a decision, the tougher it gets to actually decide.
But then what would life be if we had no choices to make? Nothing :)-
Monday, May 11, 2009
Work-life balance for women
There is a vast difference in the way men deal with their career and the way women approach their career. For men, it is a life long need, necessity, engagement.....or what ever you may choose to call it.
For women it is different. Most women until they get married, are if not more, equally competitive and involved with their career as their male counterparts. I have been through long work hours as much as my male counterparts. But post marriage, things change for a women. Slowly marriage (husband), children and home becomes her priority. Children and husband need as much, if not more attention as career.
Yah, there are many women out there who will strongly disagree with what I have written. But having been working for a long time myself (both before and after marriage), I see a vast difference in my own career orientation. There is a greater pressure to strike a balance between "home" and the "office".
Women have an option which many of them exercise post marriage - to have a career or to become a home maker and not step out to work. The choice is there in many cases!
Men are not so lucky. As far as earning is concerned; they have little choice. They are the bread earners, also because they choose not to take on the home makers role.
From my own experience, there are many male friends who started their careers with me. Somewhere post marriage, I have consciously slowed down my pace (though I am still far more career minded than many of my female friends). My male friends who started their careers with me are much ahead of me. In terms of monetary gains or even the authority which comes with growth. They are ahead. I am as capable as many of them are; yet the choice to slow down was mine. Somewhere post marriage, I lost the competitiveness or that killing desire to succeed in my professional career. One can say; it dint matter as much.
After marriage, most women start looking for exits in this marathon called career. Either they get tired, burn out, too many responsibilities, children and their upbringing.....and so with time they start slowing down in their career. Again I am not stating that all of them do it, or all of them go through this phase, but yes a majority of them do.
Women must redefine career and not blindly go with the male definition of a career. Somewhere the need of the hour for married women, who are educated and skilled is to use their education and skills to be financially independent.
Career for a married women, who is a wife, a mother and a home maker is "to have the freedom of being creatively engaged, become financially independent, and have the time and energy required to become a good home maker." Long work hours, long hours commuting and job related stress bring imbalance in the married life.
I am attempting to differentiate between having a cut throat career orientation and being financially independent through flexi-working hours.
Unfortunately in India, there aren't too many avenues for women to keep flexi-working hours. As a result many intelligent and potential young managers (women) are forced to quit their careers and become home makers. Which is a loss for the Industry and also a loss for the economy.
Having said all that, if there are some brilliant women executives who are managing all this well (home and career), then they must step out and share their experiences with those not so lucky to strike this balance. More so in India.
For women it is different. Most women until they get married, are if not more, equally competitive and involved with their career as their male counterparts. I have been through long work hours as much as my male counterparts. But post marriage, things change for a women. Slowly marriage (husband), children and home becomes her priority. Children and husband need as much, if not more attention as career.
Yah, there are many women out there who will strongly disagree with what I have written. But having been working for a long time myself (both before and after marriage), I see a vast difference in my own career orientation. There is a greater pressure to strike a balance between "home" and the "office".
Women have an option which many of them exercise post marriage - to have a career or to become a home maker and not step out to work. The choice is there in many cases!
Men are not so lucky. As far as earning is concerned; they have little choice. They are the bread earners, also because they choose not to take on the home makers role.
From my own experience, there are many male friends who started their careers with me. Somewhere post marriage, I have consciously slowed down my pace (though I am still far more career minded than many of my female friends). My male friends who started their careers with me are much ahead of me. In terms of monetary gains or even the authority which comes with growth. They are ahead. I am as capable as many of them are; yet the choice to slow down was mine. Somewhere post marriage, I lost the competitiveness or that killing desire to succeed in my professional career. One can say; it dint matter as much.
After marriage, most women start looking for exits in this marathon called career. Either they get tired, burn out, too many responsibilities, children and their upbringing.....and so with time they start slowing down in their career. Again I am not stating that all of them do it, or all of them go through this phase, but yes a majority of them do.
Women must redefine career and not blindly go with the male definition of a career. Somewhere the need of the hour for married women, who are educated and skilled is to use their education and skills to be financially independent.
Career for a married women, who is a wife, a mother and a home maker is "to have the freedom of being creatively engaged, become financially independent, and have the time and energy required to become a good home maker." Long work hours, long hours commuting and job related stress bring imbalance in the married life.
I am attempting to differentiate between having a cut throat career orientation and being financially independent through flexi-working hours.
Unfortunately in India, there aren't too many avenues for women to keep flexi-working hours. As a result many intelligent and potential young managers (women) are forced to quit their careers and become home makers. Which is a loss for the Industry and also a loss for the economy.
Having said all that, if there are some brilliant women executives who are managing all this well (home and career), then they must step out and share their experiences with those not so lucky to strike this balance. More so in India.
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